28th Oct 2014

Dating and Loving a Drummer

February is upon us, and the hearts and flowers are being sprinkled around like fairy dust in preparation for Valentine’s Day. While there are plenty of references to romantic rhythms and heart beats during this time of year, when it comes to drummers, there can be a different vibe to dating and relationships. That is not to say that drummers are not like the rest of the world, but, being a drummer or percussionist takes a special commitment. After all, being surrounded by rhythm changes the brain, creating some of the most unique and diverse people you’ll ever meet.


When dating a drummer, expect the unexpected. Whether the love of your life is a hand drummer with a djembe or a jazz drummer with a ton of gigs, the nature of drumming is to follow the rhythm of life. This can mean in the middle of dinner, your drummer reveals his or her next 12 tour dates are all in the next state over, or that during a special movie, your drummer is suddenly inspired to “lap drum” instead of snuggling closely. Drummers are mavericks, they simply cannot be contained, just ask them.

Drummers are active people, considering that so many use arms, legs, feet and hands to perfect a rhythm, no matter the preferred drum. A true drummer cannot help but feel personal rhythms within, as well as those in the real world. The constant drumming fine tunes this particular sense and it may be hard to get a drummer to settle down. You can almost guarantee there is a foot that keeps tapping at work or a finger or two drumming while driving. The constant stimulation of rhythm may have a decent effect on releasing stress and anxiety, helping drummers to sleep once they finally crash, but, in the meantime this stimulation allows for a natural alertness that can border on disturbing. In a good way, of course.

Percussion is an addiction. For anyone who owns a drum set, a djembe, congos or even a frame drum, the search for the next percussion instrument is already in motion. There is something about drumming that just creates a need for more drums and percussion. No drummer can really explain the need, the love of drums, or the nuances of sound between the three different djembes he or she cannot decide between. The good part of this addiction is that the more drums owned the more chance a significant other has to join in the fun!

Drumming, itself, is such a form of expression and release, that it can be hard for a drummer to not seek out the rhythmic rush in whatever form it may arrive. If you are dating a drummer, understand that the mysterious nature of these women and men is truly about marching to their own beat.It may be hard to truly embrace the idiosyncrasies of a drummer, but, we guarantee you'll have a lot of fun trying!